I think only a mama can get emotional over dirty socks. Prior to being a mama, all they were to me was an annoyance from my husband who thinks they belong on the floor by the bed.
Now the mama part comes in...my oldest son has taken a liking to laying on my side of the bed and watching cartoons. He will go in there when he gets home from daycare, point to the "illow", say "Mama, down!", and then point to the tv. His next task is to take off his socks which he places right infront of my alarm clock. I currently have 3 socks there--another mama phenomenon, missing socks.
I was laying in bed last night looking at the small pile of his socks and starting getting tears!!! Yes tears?!?! It dawned on me that almost two years ago I had no concept of him growing up like he has...of course I knew he would never stay a baby, but wow... the time really does fly.
It's moments like these that I do not want to forget later in life...how something like dirty socks made me cry, that these are the moments that can never be replaced, and what that little pile reminds me of--snuggling with my baby watching cartoons.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
With great expectations...
come the possibility of great let downs. My son LOVES fish tanks. Anywhere we go, he gets sssoo excited about seeing the fish swimming and when I pick him up from the sitter, he has to show me the tank.
So, my husband and I figured we could put the fish tank that has not been in use for ten years in my son's room. We bought everything we needed, except the fish because the tank has to run for one week.
Well, we flicked the switch so the lights were on, the treasure chest would bubble open, and the filter would hum. He just looked at us and then ran out of the room.
Ok, ok....I guess I should have expected that. I suppose he is too young to understand this is the precursor to fish. None-the-less, I hoped to see some excitement.
I guess we will see next weekend when we get fish...wish me luck!
So, my husband and I figured we could put the fish tank that has not been in use for ten years in my son's room. We bought everything we needed, except the fish because the tank has to run for one week.
Well, we flicked the switch so the lights were on, the treasure chest would bubble open, and the filter would hum. He just looked at us and then ran out of the room.
Ok, ok....I guess I should have expected that. I suppose he is too young to understand this is the precursor to fish. None-the-less, I hoped to see some excitement.
I guess we will see next weekend when we get fish...wish me luck!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Why is it that...
everyone feels the need to share their pregnancy, birthing experiences, number and order of children, etc. with me regardless of whether or not I want to hear it or not just because i am pregnant??
Seriously????
No one ever feels the need to share their experiences with me until and as long as I have a swollen belly! Have any of these people ever stopped to think that 1) i might have to pee really bad, 2) i am hungry and need to get some lunch, and 3) when i say "this is my second" that I may need to finish up here so that i can pick that first one up?
So...at the risk of being insensitive, could I please just get my change and receipt so I can get on with my day??
Thanks!
Seriously????
No one ever feels the need to share their experiences with me until and as long as I have a swollen belly! Have any of these people ever stopped to think that 1) i might have to pee really bad, 2) i am hungry and need to get some lunch, and 3) when i say "this is my second" that I may need to finish up here so that i can pick that first one up?
So...at the risk of being insensitive, could I please just get my change and receipt so I can get on with my day??
Thanks!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Reliving Childhood
One of the many, many benefits to being a mama is getting to enjoy your childhood again. I know that some mamas did not have the childhood they wanted, but it gives them the opportunity to make sure their babes have fond memories.
We decided to pick up some games for my eldest son's birthday coming up: Guess Who, Ants in the Pants, and Candy Land. I remember times I played these games with cousins, friends, etc. It makes teaching and playing the games fun again.
I also can not wait for the holiday season! Nathan may not understand Santa Claus completely, but he will enjoy the lights, sounds, smells, family, etc of the holidays. How fun!
It has even occurred to me how much I enjoy playing his trucks and trains with him...imagining the sofa is a mountain the truck climbs up or that a french fry is an airplane :)
Happiness in the simplest things...what an amazing gift he has given to me!
Monday, September 14, 2009
"Why, Mama?"
I am pretty sure this is the one question that drives all mamas crazy after awhile. I guess I did not anticipate that the first time he would ask me this, it would shoot straight to my heart. We were getting ready in the morning like we always do, and I went up to him and said, "baby, I love you." Just like I do 500 other times in the day.
And he looks at me and says "Why, Mama?"
I am quite sure he did not truely understand what he was asking, but it shot straight to my heart! Why do I love you?!?!?! Where do I even begin?! Let's see if I can try...
1) you have taught me what it means to truely love another human being without condition
2) you taught what it means to sacrifice for another human being
3) you (and your baby brother growing inside of me) are the CENTER of my universe and
4) my reason for living!!
I just can not find one good answer! How can something so obvious to every fiber of my being not be able to be described in words? No one answer covers it...even the ones I listed all put together.
I think this will be one question I happily struggle with for a long time....
And he looks at me and says "Why, Mama?"
I am quite sure he did not truely understand what he was asking, but it shot straight to my heart! Why do I love you?!?!?! Where do I even begin?! Let's see if I can try...
1) you have taught me what it means to truely love another human being without condition
2) you taught what it means to sacrifice for another human being
3) you (and your baby brother growing inside of me) are the CENTER of my universe and
4) my reason for living!!
I just can not find one good answer! How can something so obvious to every fiber of my being not be able to be described in words? No one answer covers it...even the ones I listed all put together.
I think this will be one question I happily struggle with for a long time....
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Just wait until he gets older....
I can not tell you how much this phrase drives me crazy!!
Anytime I talk with other moms about milestones or something new my son is doing, this is what I hear...like there is only doom and gloom to come as it is usually said in a dry sarcastic tone. It also usually wipes out any drive or pride I have to share these moments with people around me which is disappointing to say the least.
Maybe I am in the minority here, but I have tried to enjoy each age, phase, milestone, etc in that moment. I am trying to not rush him to grow up or keep him from growing up either. There are things I have enjoyed and disliked about each stage. To me, that is just what raising kids is all about, getting through the challenging times and soaking up the good ones for all they are worth! To me, it is the only way to stay sane as a mama!!
Anytime I talk with other moms about milestones or something new my son is doing, this is what I hear...like there is only doom and gloom to come as it is usually said in a dry sarcastic tone. It also usually wipes out any drive or pride I have to share these moments with people around me which is disappointing to say the least.
Maybe I am in the minority here, but I have tried to enjoy each age, phase, milestone, etc in that moment. I am trying to not rush him to grow up or keep him from growing up either. There are things I have enjoyed and disliked about each stage. To me, that is just what raising kids is all about, getting through the challenging times and soaking up the good ones for all they are worth! To me, it is the only way to stay sane as a mama!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. Adlai E. Stevenson
I remember where I was on 9/11. I was at my first job out of college, green as can be. I turned off the news to head to work right before the first plane hit the World Trade Center. For whatever reason, I didn't listen to the radio that morning...I was trying to remember what I all had to do that day. I got to work and headed to my office and got down to work. After about half an hour I headed up to the main office and when I walked in, I almost ran right into a television on a cart. It was a fuzzy picture at best, and I asked everyone what was going on.
My coworkers informed me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I saw the pictures and was sad that a plane must have mistakenly hit one of the towers. The news was reporting that planes had in the past hit the towers. It was definetely news, but nothing overly suspicious at this point.
Then...the second plane hit. I watched the television and I was completely stunned. No one said a word. We all new something much much worse was going on. The rest...you all know.
Even though I did not know anyone personally who died that day or was at ground zero, I felt an emotionally overwhelming connection to all of the people there. I cried and prayed for them that day and for many more days to come.
I am sure it was similar to the experiences our parents/grandparents had with Pearl Harbor and other such events in history. But this was the first major single day catastrophy in my life time. It brought into clear focus for me the fragility of our nation and our freedoms--not because of anything our nation did wrong, but because of the hate that exists in the world for our country. Until that day, I had no idea it existed. I also had no idea the effect it would have on our nation! It was absolutely stunning to me to see the reactions--songs, dedications, war, memorials, etc.
For me, it also added tremendous meaning to Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. My family, like many others I am sure, never really talked about the meaning of these days. I personally feel it is my responsiblity to teach my kids about why these holidays exist...that it goes far beyond fireworks and cookouts. I think this is my way to honor the people who have sacrificed for our country so that I could be here now doing what I love most--being a mama.
I remember where I was on 9/11. I was at my first job out of college, green as can be. I turned off the news to head to work right before the first plane hit the World Trade Center. For whatever reason, I didn't listen to the radio that morning...I was trying to remember what I all had to do that day. I got to work and headed to my office and got down to work. After about half an hour I headed up to the main office and when I walked in, I almost ran right into a television on a cart. It was a fuzzy picture at best, and I asked everyone what was going on.
My coworkers informed me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I saw the pictures and was sad that a plane must have mistakenly hit one of the towers. The news was reporting that planes had in the past hit the towers. It was definetely news, but nothing overly suspicious at this point.
Then...the second plane hit. I watched the television and I was completely stunned. No one said a word. We all new something much much worse was going on. The rest...you all know.
Even though I did not know anyone personally who died that day or was at ground zero, I felt an emotionally overwhelming connection to all of the people there. I cried and prayed for them that day and for many more days to come.
I am sure it was similar to the experiences our parents/grandparents had with Pearl Harbor and other such events in history. But this was the first major single day catastrophy in my life time. It brought into clear focus for me the fragility of our nation and our freedoms--not because of anything our nation did wrong, but because of the hate that exists in the world for our country. Until that day, I had no idea it existed. I also had no idea the effect it would have on our nation! It was absolutely stunning to me to see the reactions--songs, dedications, war, memorials, etc.
For me, it also added tremendous meaning to Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. My family, like many others I am sure, never really talked about the meaning of these days. I personally feel it is my responsiblity to teach my kids about why these holidays exist...that it goes far beyond fireworks and cookouts. I think this is my way to honor the people who have sacrificed for our country so that I could be here now doing what I love most--being a mama.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Pampers diapers
I must admit that when I had my first son I would not use anything but pampers. I really liked them--stretchy tabs, absorbent, few leaks, etc. Over the past couple of months, I noticed that the 'stuffing' would come out of some of the diapers. I figured it was just one bad case. No biggie.
Well, after 2-3 cases of the same problem, I wrote the company. There customer services was great. They promptly responded to my email, and sent me coupons for new diapers. I was impressed!
Continuing to hope that the diaper quality was just a fluke, I continued on with the pampers. Unfortunately, we are still having problems :( The sitter doesn't even want them anymore because the combination of poop and diaper 'stuffing' almost resulted in him needing a bath.
I honestly wish the quality of Pampers was still there. I don't particularly like negative reviews of products. While their customer service was wonderful, their diapers have been disappointing :(
Has anyone else had this problem? Please comment if you like!
Well, after 2-3 cases of the same problem, I wrote the company. There customer services was great. They promptly responded to my email, and sent me coupons for new diapers. I was impressed!
Continuing to hope that the diaper quality was just a fluke, I continued on with the pampers. Unfortunately, we are still having problems :( The sitter doesn't even want them anymore because the combination of poop and diaper 'stuffing' almost resulted in him needing a bath.
I honestly wish the quality of Pampers was still there. I don't particularly like negative reviews of products. While their customer service was wonderful, their diapers have been disappointing :(
Has anyone else had this problem? Please comment if you like!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Curse of the Baby Book
With baby number 2 on the way, I have been searching for the perfect baby book...and I got to thinking...did I ever 'finish' my first son's baby book??
No.
So where does this leave me? One son's book not done, not by a long shot. And now I want to get another one for my second son that likely won't be finished either? This MUST be the definition of insanity! Attempting to do the same thing for child number 2 that did not get done for child number 1!
But how can I not at least TRY to do the same for my second son?? Will he not end up in therapy wracked with self esteem issues because I did not attempt a baby book for him?
I hope not or I am in trouble for far worse offenses.
The other thought that crossed my mind in relation to the baby book issue is this...are there really moms out there who can say they put down the day that each individual tooth came in?! I could barely get a picture of any tooth let alone be aware of when each individual one came in. Actually, the only time I knew a new tooth came in was when he would bite/nip me during breastfeeding. I doubt he wants a picture of the bite marks he left on my nipple in his baby book :)
The details they allow for in these books is just crazy to me. I was so deprived of sleep and sanity during maternity leave and then rushed back to work after that I just had no time to do the book. Any mama who can complete that book cover to cover truely deserves a reward!
No.
So where does this leave me? One son's book not done, not by a long shot. And now I want to get another one for my second son that likely won't be finished either? This MUST be the definition of insanity! Attempting to do the same thing for child number 2 that did not get done for child number 1!
But how can I not at least TRY to do the same for my second son?? Will he not end up in therapy wracked with self esteem issues because I did not attempt a baby book for him?
I hope not or I am in trouble for far worse offenses.
The other thought that crossed my mind in relation to the baby book issue is this...are there really moms out there who can say they put down the day that each individual tooth came in?! I could barely get a picture of any tooth let alone be aware of when each individual one came in. Actually, the only time I knew a new tooth came in was when he would bite/nip me during breastfeeding. I doubt he wants a picture of the bite marks he left on my nipple in his baby book :)
The details they allow for in these books is just crazy to me. I was so deprived of sleep and sanity during maternity leave and then rushed back to work after that I just had no time to do the book. Any mama who can complete that book cover to cover truely deserves a reward!
Monday, September 7, 2009
ET go home and leave my baby here!!
AARRRGGGHHH!!!
I am quite sure that every mom experiences moments when she wonders what in the world she is doing wrong to have her child turn into an alien being before her eyes! There are days when I swear an alien ship has come down and snatched my happy child and exchanged him for an alien being whose mission it is to find out what puts me over the edge...and just when I am about to completely loose it, the alien space ship returns and exchanges my child back. Leaving me to wonder....why did I get so upset in the first place?
My oldest son had zero interest in going to bed tonight despite being amazingly overtired. Screaming, crying, spitting, pulling, pinching, and having a dandy of a time doing it too. He put such gusto into it!! So, trying to be the nurturing mama, I offer to rub his back if he lays down. He lays down for about 2.8 seconds, jumps up, grabs my glassess and chucks them across the room! Not wanting to encourage that behavior, I leave the room. Well, I think he is convinced I took his birthday with me!
I am quite sure this routine will repeat for at least the next 18 years. I am hoping that I soon get a better grasp on how to deal with these situations...maybe I should just work on inventing Alien spray to keep them away....yes...yes I think that would be much easier.
I am quite sure that every mom experiences moments when she wonders what in the world she is doing wrong to have her child turn into an alien being before her eyes! There are days when I swear an alien ship has come down and snatched my happy child and exchanged him for an alien being whose mission it is to find out what puts me over the edge...and just when I am about to completely loose it, the alien space ship returns and exchanges my child back. Leaving me to wonder....why did I get so upset in the first place?
My oldest son had zero interest in going to bed tonight despite being amazingly overtired. Screaming, crying, spitting, pulling, pinching, and having a dandy of a time doing it too. He put such gusto into it!! So, trying to be the nurturing mama, I offer to rub his back if he lays down. He lays down for about 2.8 seconds, jumps up, grabs my glassess and chucks them across the room! Not wanting to encourage that behavior, I leave the room. Well, I think he is convinced I took his birthday with me!
I am quite sure this routine will repeat for at least the next 18 years. I am hoping that I soon get a better grasp on how to deal with these situations...maybe I should just work on inventing Alien spray to keep them away....yes...yes I think that would be much easier.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Why "Just a Mama"
Another issue I had to tackle when starting a blog...what in the world do I call it? I had many possibilites cross my mind, but "Just a Mama" seemed to fit. Some people might perceive it as a deragatory phrase about being a mom; quite the contrary....
When I was growing up I had high aspriations about being a lawyer, doctor, astronaut, scientist, etc. I wanted to be a hugely important person in the world impacting a lot of people's lives. Not to mention, I wanted to make good money doing it! Take trips all over the world, own a huge house, drive fast and fancy cars. The world would be my oyster!
I didn't become any of those things but found a profession that I love and truely desire to succeed and grown in. I met my husband a little over 6 years ago now, and we had our first child almost 2 years ago. (More details on these in another post.) It was not until the moment my son was born that I realized all I ever wanted to be again was just a mama. If that was all I would ever be again, this would be it.
Dreams of fancy trips around the world were no longer as important as they used to be....taking my son outside and exploring the many wonders of my front yard is so rewarding. Teaching him about new things and remembering that it is the simple things in life we often forget to appreciate. Fancy dining is replaced by ketchup covered hotdogs--two of the main food groups to me now--and fast, fancy cars are replaced by toy trucks and trains. And the people who I want to mean the most to are the ones I tuck into bed everynight. All the money in the world could not make me miss these moments.
I thought that by having children, I might feel cheated out of having these grand dreams full filled. What I did not realize was the hole in my life that truly needed to be filled had nothing to do with these 'high' aspirations. My life feels so much more in perspective now about what is important....family, love, support, marriage, children--not necessarily in that order. Now, far bigger dreams and aspirations wait to be full filled.
Don't misunderstand me! If someone showed up at my doorstep and handed me the keys to a shiny new corvette, I would take them in a second! Then I would go and trade it in for a rocked out minivan and airplane tickets to Disney World :)
Who would have guessed that to be Just a Mama would have such a profound impact on my life?? I never would have guessed it and no one could have prepared me for it. But I sure am glad it happened!
When I was growing up I had high aspriations about being a lawyer, doctor, astronaut, scientist, etc. I wanted to be a hugely important person in the world impacting a lot of people's lives. Not to mention, I wanted to make good money doing it! Take trips all over the world, own a huge house, drive fast and fancy cars. The world would be my oyster!
I didn't become any of those things but found a profession that I love and truely desire to succeed and grown in. I met my husband a little over 6 years ago now, and we had our first child almost 2 years ago. (More details on these in another post.) It was not until the moment my son was born that I realized all I ever wanted to be again was just a mama. If that was all I would ever be again, this would be it.
Dreams of fancy trips around the world were no longer as important as they used to be....taking my son outside and exploring the many wonders of my front yard is so rewarding. Teaching him about new things and remembering that it is the simple things in life we often forget to appreciate. Fancy dining is replaced by ketchup covered hotdogs--two of the main food groups to me now--and fast, fancy cars are replaced by toy trucks and trains. And the people who I want to mean the most to are the ones I tuck into bed everynight. All the money in the world could not make me miss these moments.
I thought that by having children, I might feel cheated out of having these grand dreams full filled. What I did not realize was the hole in my life that truly needed to be filled had nothing to do with these 'high' aspirations. My life feels so much more in perspective now about what is important....family, love, support, marriage, children--not necessarily in that order. Now, far bigger dreams and aspirations wait to be full filled.
Don't misunderstand me! If someone showed up at my doorstep and handed me the keys to a shiny new corvette, I would take them in a second! Then I would go and trade it in for a rocked out minivan and airplane tickets to Disney World :)
Who would have guessed that to be Just a Mama would have such a profound impact on my life?? I never would have guessed it and no one could have prepared me for it. But I sure am glad it happened!
Why would I start a blog?
I have been thinking about doing this for awhile now. There is so much that I want to share with other moms, to be moms, and women that I hope it does not come out as jumbled on here as it is in my head. I will do my best!
The main reason is this: I believe that moms share so many experiences individually that leave us wondering, "am I the only one who feels this way?" We end up feeling isolated and very much alone, when we do not have to be. I have been apart of message boards since having my first child, and when I have felt so very much alone and felt brave enough to post about it, I find that many, many moms say "me too!! I thought I was the only one!" It is such a reassuring feeling. So, why not have a blog where I can post and other moms can contribute their thoughts too? Regardless of age, race, number of children, age of children, etc. There are so many things that never change regardless of these differentiating factors that often divide us into solitude.
I realized this walking into the book store and heading for the baby/children's book section! Books on single moms, divorced moms, children with ADD, children who are finicky eaters, moms to twins, triplets, etc; raising boys, raising girls, attachement parenting, cry it out methods, etc. I kept thinking, I must be the only mom who does not fit into one of these titles! Where in the world will I find the answers to what I have questions about? Am I doing something wrong that I am not concerned about snatching up all of these and memorizing them cover to cover?
The answer is of course, no. Don't misunderstand me, books on various subjects such as the ones I listed certainly have their value. I am merely trying to stress that what makes us all similar as moms with the situations we face are far greater than the ones that seem to divide us into categories. Coming together on the common issues, I believe, can only help.
Another reason, I love to write. I can not say my grammar or spelling is the best, but I will certainly try! Hopefully any errors I make will at least provide for comic relief :) I would love to some day publish a book--not sure about what--but with children, who has the time to organize a coherent thought, let alone work on writing a book! So this is my attempt at taking many scattered thoughts and ideas and putting them all in one location besides my brain.
Finally, I know I need to have a hobby! I get so wrapped up in being a mom that I feel I often forget about myself--what I suspect many moms and women do. We end up losing our sense of self outside of our ever important role as a mother. I know I am guilty of letting that happen, so this is my attempt to do something for me. As selfish as that may make me feel...shouldn't I be doing something for my family???
So, I hope you enjoy reading and contributing to this blog! Here we go....!!!!
The main reason is this: I believe that moms share so many experiences individually that leave us wondering, "am I the only one who feels this way?" We end up feeling isolated and very much alone, when we do not have to be. I have been apart of message boards since having my first child, and when I have felt so very much alone and felt brave enough to post about it, I find that many, many moms say "me too!! I thought I was the only one!" It is such a reassuring feeling. So, why not have a blog where I can post and other moms can contribute their thoughts too? Regardless of age, race, number of children, age of children, etc. There are so many things that never change regardless of these differentiating factors that often divide us into solitude.
I realized this walking into the book store and heading for the baby/children's book section! Books on single moms, divorced moms, children with ADD, children who are finicky eaters, moms to twins, triplets, etc; raising boys, raising girls, attachement parenting, cry it out methods, etc. I kept thinking, I must be the only mom who does not fit into one of these titles! Where in the world will I find the answers to what I have questions about? Am I doing something wrong that I am not concerned about snatching up all of these and memorizing them cover to cover?
The answer is of course, no. Don't misunderstand me, books on various subjects such as the ones I listed certainly have their value. I am merely trying to stress that what makes us all similar as moms with the situations we face are far greater than the ones that seem to divide us into categories. Coming together on the common issues, I believe, can only help.
Another reason, I love to write. I can not say my grammar or spelling is the best, but I will certainly try! Hopefully any errors I make will at least provide for comic relief :) I would love to some day publish a book--not sure about what--but with children, who has the time to organize a coherent thought, let alone work on writing a book! So this is my attempt at taking many scattered thoughts and ideas and putting them all in one location besides my brain.
Finally, I know I need to have a hobby! I get so wrapped up in being a mom that I feel I often forget about myself--what I suspect many moms and women do. We end up losing our sense of self outside of our ever important role as a mother. I know I am guilty of letting that happen, so this is my attempt to do something for me. As selfish as that may make me feel...shouldn't I be doing something for my family???
So, I hope you enjoy reading and contributing to this blog! Here we go....!!!!
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