One More Time

In my recent conversations with K. she has said to me that she wonders if she will see summer again...see a flower bloom...all of the things we seem to take for granted. All of the things that we just 'know' are going to come.

I suppose the truth is that none of us know if we will be able to do many things one more time before our time here is up. It makes me want to try and enjoy those precious, simple moments as much as I can. We recently had a freezing rain storm that coated the branches of the trees in ice. When the sun set, it looked like the trees were coated in glass. It was stunning...it almost looked like white fire. I had just been complaining about how much I wish winter was over. I am glad that I didn't miss this unexpected scene of frigid beauty. I ran outside with my camera when I got home to try to document this rare sight. When I came inside to review my work, I was slightly disappointed. It is so hard to capture nature's beauty on film and do it justice.

It does not make me sad to think that she might not do or see some things again. I believe she is going to a place that far suprasses any beauty here. The moments like the one I experienced the other day, I hope, might be a glimpse of what she will see when she gets to heaven, except maybe not as cold :)

The Give and Take of it All

I don't think there is a day that goes by that I do not think about my friend. Sometimes I have to stop thinking about her because I get too upset. The question that burns in my mind the most is this: will I ever be able to see her again, talk to her again? Will God take her quietly in the night? Or will there be time....nothing but time..??

I was thrilled when she said she wanted me and my two boys to come over this past weekend. I had everything planned: baths, naptimes, meals, etc. so that there would be minimal 'issues' during our visit. I had just gotten both boys down for naps and was about to start getting myself and all the essentials ready to go. My phone chimed telling me I had a text message. She had to cancel our visit.

I was devastated. I understood her reasoning completely and I was not upset with her at all. I know time is precious, and the times that she feels up to having visitiors is minimal. I felt cheated...and I know that is 100% selfish and I am mad at myself for that too. It isn't about me.....yet I can't help but want to be with her when I can.

I swallowed my disappointment as best as I could. I told her to keep me posted on how she is doing and the I am here for her.

I went on with my week....another very long time friend of mine wanted to stop by my house. She and I have known each other since 6th grade. I was very happy to see her. She said she thought she might be pregnant. She and her husband had decided to see if God had it in His plans for them to be parents. Well....of course I had a pregnancy test left over from when my husband and I were in the same situation.

So she took the test. Low and behold...it seemed the test was a dud. Huge bummer either way. I decided to sneak back in one more time...OH MY GOSH!! Here I am...one of my best friends is here and she is pregnant...and I get to share in this moment with her! Absolutely amazing!

Celebratory hugs all around of course!

After she left, I thought of my other dear friend who is losing her life...while one of my other friends has a new life growing inside of her. I realized...this is it. This is what life is all about...the give of life and the take of death. It is impossible for one to exist without the other. It is such a beautiful thing really...how would we appreciate the life being given if we knew it would never go away? The answer seems rather clear to me.