I have continued on my journey growing in my faith. I have enjoyed it quite a bit! I did a Bible study class during lent which was actually a class geared towards answering: how/when/who wrote the Bible?? It was a fact based class that made the Bible seem so much more real to me rather than being this book that just 'exists'. (no disrespect intended). I am hopeful that the gentleman who did the class will do another one!
My husband and I did go and talk to Father Rick about getting our marriage blessed. It was a very non-intimidating process of talking to him. He asked about our wedding and I explained why we did it the way that we did it. We also talked about why it was important to us to have the marriage blessed in the church. We filled out some paperwork and now we have to get a few things in order--baptism records, our marriage certificate. Then, we can set a date! I am really excited!! I am hoping to do it close to the date of our 6 year anniversary this year. I am also looking forward to having my friend who encouraged me to return to the church and explore my faith be the witness for my side. Seems quite fitting if you ask me!
I have also been trying to keep up with the daily Bible readings. It is a challenge some days as I just want to go to sleep or relax. I am always happy that I took the time to do it. The readings are usually a paragraph or two. It doesn't take more than 10 minutes. However, I usually end up reading more because I want to know more about what happens. Some parts are easy to understand and others are a bit more challenging.
If there is one thing that I have learned through this process, it is that faith is something that you work at and cultivate. Seems pretty obvious I suppose. But I guess I always thought you either have faith or you do not. And to some extent that is true, however, the difference is how much you open your heart to it has many different levels. For me, it is a gradual process.
I find some things seem to be changing in my life in a subtle way. I feel a greater sense of peace creeping into my life. The best analogy I can come up with is it's like sitting at the ocean. it is peaceful even though the waves are crashing on the beach, the birds are flying around, the breeze waxes and wanes. My life isn't calm like a lake when it perfectly reflects the world around it. It is more like the ocean--in a constant motion, always changing, but some how peaceful. I believe it is my search for understanding in my faith that has made me feel much more grounded in my life. I wish I had started this journey sooner instead of wasting time trying to find peace in financial gain, perfectly obedient children, or the most successful position at work. Peace and faith come from and are grown within. It isn't something you arrive at or achieve and then you can take a breath and not have to worry about it anymore. It is something that I control and that is such an empowering feeling.
Easter this year has a meaning for me it has never had before. I always used to think of Easter bunnies and brightly colored eggs. Now I think about the fact that Jesus will be resurrected tomorrow and is our proof that this life is just the beginning. When our journey ends on earth, we begin in heaven. It is why I will get to see Kim again. It is how I know she is at peace in a place where I can not be with her just yet. It is also where I will see my children and husband when we can't be here together anymore. What a truly amazing gift we are given. How can I not celebrate??!!