I admit...I have not been keeping up with my blog like I would like to do. Being a mama of two boys tends to take a bit more time now and again :) No complaints here!
I have continued on this new journey in my life. I emailed Father Rick asking another question that has been nagging at me for over a decade. Here is what I wrote in my email:
Father Rick
I can not begin to tell you how happy I have been since reading your email! It is a new level of peace in my heart and somewhat of a rekindled desire to foster the love between my husband and I. Thank you!
Another one of the big questions I have has to do with God’s love. I remember always being told God’s love is unconditional, but then it would seem that there were all of these conditions placed on it: one must go to confession, one must go to church every week, etc. It seemed to be conflicting. I thought growing up this wasn’t right. I know now that I have had children that this can’t be right. I always tell people that I never TRULY knew what it meant to love someone unconditionally until I looked at my first born child. I knew I would never be the same person again. There is nothing my children could do to make me not love them. Ever. That does not mean I would support all of their decisions, but it does mean that I would do anything for their benefit, even if it meant giving my own life. I know that God’s love is supposed to be beyond our comprehension…something so beautiful that there are no words to adequately describe it. I can not describe the love I have for my children. I hope that God’s love IS truly without condition and that we are all God’s children.
Which leads me to believe that if a person has never been taught or received any formal religious up bringing that they too would still be taken into heaven. It makes me think of a mother who has given her child up for adoption and hasn’t seen them in 20 years. That mother very likely still loves and cares deeply about that child.
I hope I am not rambling or nonsensical! I often wonder if other people have the same questions.
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. I know that you are busy between two parishes.
Have a wonderful rest of your week!
Sincerely,
J
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One of the reasons I had not signed my name in the email to this point is that there is a level of comfort in anonymity. I have been so happy with his honest, yet comforting responses.
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Dear J,
I am pleased that you are pleased with the reply about your marriage related questions and that somehow all of that, in the good grace of God, is stirring the hearts of husband and wife in ever increasing fondness, devotion, affection and love for one another! That God's love is unconditional is without doubt - God's love for us is total, not subject to ifs, ands or buts, genuine and sincere. The invitation of Scripture and church teachings is to grow in our love for God and others so that our love for God and others might imitate God's love for us and for all. Prayer, attendance at Mass and frequenting the sacraments are means to growth in that love as every sacrament gives grace, a fancy theology word for God's love; they bring us near God in a personal encounter with Christ who instituted them. They are not so much "conditions" for love but do further and foster our growth in love for God and others! They help spend time with our God and time is needed for love to grow. Without them we have not yet experienced the intimacy, strength, devotion and tremendous depth of the love God has for us and for us to share with each other. The prophet Isaiah resounds with your sentiments about the love of God being like the love of a mother, asking ironically - "Could a mother forget her baby, a woman the child within her womb? Yet even if these forget, yes, even if these forget, I will never forget my own!" That a mother could forget a child is impossible - it is even more impossible for God, such is God's love. God's love has a way of reaching souls everywhere and under any condition, in ways unknown, so we who are well-loved leave much to God - God's love, while unconditional, is also not one-sided - it must be reciprocated as the One who truly loves us leaves us free to accept or reject the love offered us. It makes little sense to refuse the gifts of love! Father Rick
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Such a warmth in my heart exists. I have such a sense of peace knowing that I was wrong for so many years and I am eager to continue learning about my own faith in God through the Catholic Church.
I have continued going to church on Sundays. I even went to Ash Wednesday services for the first time since being in grade school. Yesterday I dropped off our church membership information.
I do not want anyone to think I am jumping into this experience blindly and accepting whatever is said to me. Quite the contrary. I have been reading the book that is put in the pews that explain the readings and trying to grasp the message. It seems easy to apply to daily life. At this point, I do not want to go to church just to say that I go. I want to further my knowledge and deepen my faith.
Until next time....