Her New Home

Kim has been in hospice for just over a week now. I have visitied her twice. She seems to be doing ok. Her room is pretty...very nice view of a water fountain that the birds love to bathe in. She has a couch, a comfy recliner, a small desk type area...a television...and a few other things. You can tell they try to make it homey. She has three windows right next to eachother that all can be opened and a door leading out to a small patio. There is a few store bags with a castle and princess toys for her daughters...plenty of pictures of Kim and her girls. I have been trying to think of something to bring her that would give it a 'touch of home', but I can't think of anything.

The swelling in her feet has gone down tremendously. I assume it has to do with all the adjustable positions on her chair and bed to keep her feet elevated.

She is able to get up and walk around...sit outside. Her spirits are good. I asked her the last time I was there if she is still seeing her dad, and she said, 'not lately.' She is sleeping more and more. I am glad she is comfortable in mind and spirit. There is even someone in her life who has come to make amends with her and she is happy about that.

It's amazing to me....how different our lives are at this point...how easily it could be me instead of her. She is preparing to die and I am working full time, raising a family, going on a vacation this weekend. Our lives are very similar in some ways too...we are both mothers, dedicated to our children, have hopes and dreams. It is such a difficult thing for me to process and I have had over a year to wrap my mind around it. I suspect I never will.

I decided to memorialize my friend and everything she has taught me in a rather personal way. I designed my first tattoo. One of my other closest friends went with me to get it done. I wasn't sure Kim would be here long enough to see it, but she did. She very much approved. I am not sure I could ever convey the deep meaning this tattoo has for me. It is not a tattoo, it is a piece of art that I will always have with me for the rest of my life.