I Do Not Know You

I texted Kim's brother today to ask how things with Kim are progressing.  He said that Kim is starting to not recognize people. 

All that runs through my mind is that I hope she does not know she is forgetting people.  That she doesn't feel lonely.  To die believing that you are alone...having strange people coming to you saying they know you and you are convinced you don't.  Lord have mercy.

I am struggling with deciding if I will go to see her again.  In my heart, I know I want to go.  I would go every day if it was feasible.  Then my thoughts go to....what would I say or do if she looked at me and did not know me?  Would she scream at me?  Would I be able to convince her that she does know me?  I do not think it would be fair to break down in front of her if she does not.  So...then do I leave the room and not go back if she doesn't?

Is there an etiquette book for "What to Do If Your Friend of Over 18 Years is Dying of Cancer and Does Not Remember You: Handling It With Grace."

I remember 15 years ago when I left for college we split one of those necklaces that says 'Best Friends Forever'.  Each half is a heart.  I still have mine.  I could not have imagined at the time what that would come to mean in our friendship so many years later.

**sigh**

I am sure I will go to see her before the end of the week...