Why NOT?

Tomorrow is Kim's birthday.  She will be 33.

I sent her brother a text message today asking if there was anything special going on tomorrow for her birthday.  He said he didn't know of anything going on.  This struck me. 

I was angry.  She is dying.  But she is still living.  Why NOT celebrate her life?  Does she need cake, presents, balloons, or any of that...No.  I think she does need to know that she made a difference in the lives of other people.  That her leaving us is a loss.  That we love her....and a part of our lives goes with her.  Yes..one day we will be reunited, but until that time, an irreplaceable piece is gone.

Why NOT celebrate her life?

I want to get her some of her favorite flowers.  I want to find her a card but I doubt I can find one that says:

Thank you...for reminding me that life is fragile and we need to cherish EVERY day.  For reminding me that friends are a tremendous part of what gets us through.  Keep them close.  For making me think about what having faith really means.  It isn't 'knowing' anything.  It's believing, despite proof, that there is something else to this life that we are just not privy to yet.  That what we experience here is temporary and we move on to something even greater.  You have taught me that love carries on...despite disease, time, separation, and difference. It always brings us back to who and what means the most in our lives. 

You are someone I can not replace.  I can only hope the pang of loss fades with time.  Happy reminders of you will always be in my heart.  And everytime I see a butterfly, I will think of you and wonder if it is you saying hi. 

I love you. 

Please tell God I am doing my best down here.  I hope I am doing right.  And if you drop me hints once in awhile along the way, I promise, I will do my best to pay attention!

Kim..it's ok to let go...to finally have peace.  I want that for you as much as it hurts me and I will miss you.  It is selfish of me to want to keep you here. 

Happy Birthday Kim.

I don't think I will find that on a card in a store.  Nope.  Maybe I will have to print this off and take it with me.