Over the Moon

I have continued going to church and have really enjoyed Father Rick. He seems passionate but not over the top; caring but not so much so that it seems forced; knowledgeable without being intimidating.

I decided to email him, the suggestion of a friend, to ask about my question with regards to my marriage. I was not sure how to word what I wanted to say. Here is what I wrote:

"Father Rick

I realize that you don't know me by face, but I am hoping you might be willing to provide me with some guidance. I have had some life changing events take place over the last year that have led me to want to return to my religious roots. This is a process that I need to take one step at a time. I have always been spiritual, but not necessarily religious from the time I left my private grade school in 8th grade. I am finding I have a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic faith. I am working through them one at a time.

I am hoping you could answer a question for me that has been nagging at me for a long time. My husband and I choose to be married by a nondenominational minister. I would like to know if our marriage is 'recognized' by the Catholic church. I know that we may not have received the sacrament of marriage, but it would break my heart if in the eyes of the church the first 5½ years of our marriage didn't 'count'. I do not know if I am using the correct terms or not, so I hope you understand what I am getting at. My hope is that my husband and I could renew our wedding vows in the church at some point.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer this very important question for me."

Off the email went and I could not help but check my email repeatedly throughout the day. I sent it on Saturday and it dawned on me that I probably would not hear from him until after the weekend services were finished.

I got ready for church on Sunday and my oldest son wanted to go. Off we went. I wondered if somehow, just by looking at me, he would know I was the one that sent the email....if he had even read it.

Silly, huh?

It has been an interesting experience so far for me going to church. One of the readings from this past week had to do with marriage. How it mirrors God's love. When I met my husband, I knew he had to be 'made' for me, not because he is the perfect human being, but he was everything I was looking for in so many ways I can not even begin to explain. He certainly can frustrate me and we have had some growing pains in our marriage, but that is to be expected. I could not be more proud of what we have grown together in the last 5 1/2 years.

As mass ended, I scooped up my son and took him to the middle isle where Father walks by and held out my son's little hand. Sure enough, he gave my son a high five. My heart was happy.

We left and went on with our day. I continued to check regularly for a reply from him. No answer as of Sunday night when I went to bed. That's ok, I thought. Sunday must be his busiest day.

Monday morning I woke up and went about my normal routine. I had the best day at work I had had in a long time--but that's another post :) I got home and checked my email. There was a response from Father Rick. I could feel my heart skip a beat and read his reply quickly the first time:

"Dear J,
Thanks for sharing with me a bit of your excitement about returning to your religious roots - a bit of a distinction, a sensitive one, is required in answering your question about your marriage outside the Catholic Church, that distinction involving the status of BOTH civil and sacramental marriages. A marriage always "counts" as it is a natural bond fashioned by God, a bond of love that allows us to both see and reflect more beautifully how much and how well God loves each and everyone of us - Saint Paul says that marriage "mirrors," reflects divine love! So your marriage counts!! Alleluia!! However, something more needs to be part of your marriage in a specifically Catholic way and that is the sacramental form/understanding of marriage that would occur by having your marriage blessed in the church - this would normally occur on your way back into the church as an active and practicing Catholic who wishes to receive all the sacraments - it is called a "validation" formally and is actually quite simple to do and there are a variety of formats it can take depending on the willingness of your spouse to participate minimally - this assumes that this was indeed and is a first marriage for both of you - if for any reason it is a second/subsequent marriage for either of you there may be need for some additional church administrative process, but that would only be able to be determined through a conversation that detailed your marital history(ies) somewhat, but not overly difficult. Hopefully this answers your question as much as needed - would certainly enjoy meeting you at Mass someday soon! In God's love, Father Rick"

I actually had tears in my eyes!! The wave of relief that came over me was incredible. That was yesterday and I am still over the moon happy. I look forward to talking with him about how we can have our marriage blessed in the church.

The next question will be much more difficult to ask. I do not want to ask it in person, at least not at this point, because I know I would be too emotional.

For now, I want to relish the joy in my heart that has not been there in so long it feels like a stranger.

Until next time...